From the wedding service of Richard Townes, III and Kyle Parton, on Saturday, December 19. We had a major snowstorm that caused the wedding to start late (see pictures below), and unfortunately some of the guests also couldn’t make it. But it was a beautiful wedding.
I’ve been trying an experiment with some of my sermons lately – writing outlines instead of full manuscripts. Thus, what is below is not what I actually said. My experiment confirmed what I have learned before: I preach much, much better from a manuscript than just an outline. The Gospel reading was St. Matthew 25:1-13, The Parable of the Ten Virgins.
Introduction:
The bridegroom was delayed!
And thus was the marriage. That’s from the parable, but perhaps you’ve felt like you were living it out these last few years. Yet here we finally are, at long last!
And the hymn we just sang had words that probably have taken on new meaning for you now, Kyle: “With bridal care yourselves prepare.”
I’m sure you are relieved beyond measure that all of the anxious preparation is finally over.
This day is a day of great thanksgiving to God.
In this marriage, we are reminded of God’s good work of Creation in the beginning, and how, despite our many sins, He continues to love and care for us.
God has established this institution of holy marriage as the foundation of all human society, and specifically, Richard and Kyle, for your benefit and delight.
God gave the Sixth Commandment, “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” to show us how much He values Holy Marriage, and will protect and bless it. You should take great comfort in that.
Orders
But the will of God for you in Holy Marriage is much more than sexual fidelity. “We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do, and husband and wife love and honor each other.”
That love to which God calls you transcends the giddy, gooey love you so naturally have on this glad day. This divine love stays true when there is puke and stench, burnt dinners and broken promises, when anger or despair gets the best of one of you, when sickness ravages the body or dementia assails the mind. In every dark hour when there is suffering, fear, or pain – precisely there, remember God has put you there to be His love to each other.
And that is the only way to understand the headship of the husband that God has established in holy marriage. Richard, as a military man you understand what it is to be under orders. And the orders you are given by God are in permanent effect, never to be countermanded: Love this woman above all else. Never leave your post. Never give up. As you lead your new household, you do so with one object in mind: what is best for your wife, what is best for your family, and not for yourself.
The Parable of the Ten Virgins
And that brings us to the Gospel reading I selected for today. I chose it based on one of the hymns you requested, “Wake, Awake, for Night Is Flying.”
That Gospel reading is perfect for the Advent season, and more specifically, it shows us that God compares the kingdom of heaven to a wedding.
We come here to the church to intercede to God on your behalf that your marriage be a reflection of the kingdom of heaven, and not of the other place. And so I ask all of you here today to pray earnestly for Richard and Kyle. The marriage liturgy is no mere formality, but our petitioning God to bless them. Luther said about Baptism that people turn out badly because we failed to pray seriously for them at their Baptism. The same could be said, I think, for marriage.
Richard, it will not always be easy to love your wife as yourself. And you, Kyle, will come to those points where the last thing in the world you will wish to do is submit to this man.
That is one of the crosses in marriage: it exposes our selfishness. All of your flaws are revealed, exposed to this strange creature to whom you are now permanently bound. And you will sin against each other in subtle and spectacular ways.
Then what? The foolish virgins in the parable did not have sufficient oil, while the wise virgins prepared themselves for the wedding with a large quantity of oil.
The oil in Jesus’ parable represents a living faith. Like oil in a lamp, it is continually burned up, and so must continually be replenished.
What sustains and replenishes the Christian Faith in you is the very same thing that will sustain and replenish your marriage, particularly in those times of cross-bearing: the Word of God, Holy Communion, and most pointedly in confession and forgiveness.
In the church’s discipline of confession and absolution, we get on our knees and name our specific sins. And then we receive from the pastor, as from God Himself, total and complete pardon. Amazingly, God’s Word says that He not only forgives but forgets our sins.
In your marriage, it is absolutely essential that you do the same thing for each other: when you have sinned against each other, do not cover it up, attempt to justify it or make excuses. Say, “I have sinned against God and against you.” And then, what is more difficult – to say, “I forgive you,” which means the sin is forgotten, not to be brought up again later, the next time you need ammunition.
None of this you have the strength to do on your own. But you are not alone. God has established marriage precisely so that you will not be alone; and He who created this wondrous institution promises that He will never leave you nor forsake you in it.
This season of Advent sets before us Christ’s coming in the flesh, His coming to us now in grace, and His final coming for judgment. His first Advent, most particularly in His crucifixion for the forgiveness of sins and redemption of the world, is the center of all human history. It is also the center of your life together, as your household becomes a little church where the body of Christ is imaged. The marriage vows you will take last until death parts you – but in Christ death cannot part you, for you are joined to Him. He has pledged to you His faithfulness, and He will never, ever go back on His vow to you.
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Pastor Esget,
The sermon you preached was the best wedding sermon I have ever heard. Thank you for printing your outline here.
The weather just made the day that much more "exciting"!
Thanks, Melanie!